SDI Encounters

SDI's 2024 Online Conference: Navigating the Global Dark Night of the Soul of Spiritual Directors and Companions

In this week's episode, Rev. SeiFu speaks with Matt Whitney on SDI's 2024 online conference.
Our conference theme this year is “Navigating the Global Dark Night of the Soul of Spiritual Directors and Companions.” We will create an opening and a field for spiritual directors and companions to listen, and speak, into the hardships, struggles, and opportunities we have encountered over the last few difficult years.  Unfortunately, the world’s circumstances don’t seem to be improving, but rather, progressively worsening in many ways.  So we will need particularly effective tools to address empathy fatigue, burnout, and the very same afflictions that can ail all of us at any time: isolation, loneliness, despair, and loss of meaning and purpose.
JOIN US MAY 8-10, 2024!
Let us come together to listen and share insights, fostering a supportive community to navigate these complex times. 
Register now at sdicompanions.org 

What is Spiritual Companionship?

In this chat with Executive Director Rev. SeiFu Singh-Molares, we explore some nuts-and-bolts questions about spiritual companionship. What is spiritual companionship? How does it work? Who is it for? Why would someone need spiritual companionship? How does it differ from working with a mental health professional? What is considered "on the table" or "off the table" in a spiritual companionship conversation? Should we pay money for spiritual companionship? This conversation is for anyone who is curious about working with a spiritual companion, and how it can help you on your spiritual journey. 

SDI Affinity Groups with Ravi Verma

SDI Communities are SDI-sponsored, often locally-run groups of spiritual companions. These people gather either regionally, or based on a shared commonality, on a regular basis to connect, support one another, network, share contemplative time and practice new skills in spiritual care. An SDI Community can operate anywhere in the world.
Let us know if you’d be interested in joining an SDI Community and we will connect you. You can email us at communities@sdiworld.org
Ravi Verma, previously on the SDI Board as a Member and as Chair, now is helping us host several Special Interest or “Affinity” Groups. In this conversation with our Executive Director Reverend SeiFu, Ravi talks about how these groups are going, where they are going in the future, and how they relate and integrate into the larger vision for the SDI Community in general.
 
 

An Ordinary Conversation about Waking Up - Jennifer ”Jinks” Hoffmann

We are pleased to offer this recent conversation with Jennifer "Jinks" Hoffmann, author of The Light of God's Shadow - Musings, Stories, and Poems on Waking Up, from SDI Press Books. We discuss poetry and creativity, death, finding God in all things - in other words, just an "ordinary" conversation from the Home of Spiritual Companionship :)
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In The Light of God's Shadow, Jinks reminds us through earthy, vulnerable and humorous musings, stories, and poetry that waking up is a lifetime endeavor. Psychotherapist and spiritual director Jinks Hoffmann encourages us to listen for the divine daily call to wholeness—in our relationships and work, our joys and dreams, our messes and triumphs, our losses and grief. We accompany Jinks on her journey through radiant and dark shadow, and we learn with her from the wisdom of her teachers. We grow in understanding— and in our bodies, hearts and souls—that when we welcome our vulnerability and strength, we heighten our humanity and heal our souls. By becoming kinder and more compassionate with ourselves and with one another we keep waking up and we bring healing to the world.
Click here to order your copy today. On sale, along with our webinars, courses, and other books, through December 18th 2023.

Forest Bathing Sounds and Storytelling -An Audio Reflection (and Invitation to Join us in March 2024!)

In March 2023 during our Forest Bathing Retreat in North Carolina, I (Matt Whitney) made some recordings of our time together - sounds of the forest, some testimonials and poetry by participants, and a bit of audio from our facilitators Jeanette Banashak and Simon De Voil. With our next retreat upcoming in March 2024, I finally got around to organizing some of this audio in a reflection, which begins around the 10 minute marker. Prior to that, I explain a bit about what to expect on the Retreat.
https://www.sdicompanions.org/product/forest-bathing-2024/
Come join us! SDI returns to the woods of the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina from March 3 - 9, 2024. We invite you to spend a week forest bathing, immersing in nature, breathing the clean forest air, finding silence and stillness, and experience deep listening on new levels.
If you missed our first Retreat, here is your opportunity to join us for this truly restful and transformative experience. If you previously attended, we are excited to again bring this offering to you. All are welcome!
https://www.sdicompanions.org/product/forest-bathing-2024/

A History of Spiritual Direction and Supervision - Paul Burgmayer

In this week’s episode, Matt Whitney speaks with Paul Burgmayer on a History of Spiritual Direction and Supervision that he has been working on. Paul is working on a comprehensive history of spiritual direction and supervision in North America, and is seeking assistance with anything that can help him fill in the gaps in his research. If you can help him by providing missing details, or know of someone who might be able to help, please send him an email at historyofsd@gmail.com.
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Paul Burgmayer has been accompanying others in spiritual direction for fourteen years now. A former industrial researcher and retired high school teacher, he has a master’s degree in Holistic Spirituality and a certificate in spiritual direction from Chestnut Hill College, certificates in the supervision of spiritual direction from Together in the Mystery and Mercy Center, Burlingame, and trained at Chestnut Hill College and the Ignatius Jesuit Centre in Guelph, Canada to accompany others in the Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius of Loyola. A member of Bryn Mawr Presbyterian Church for many years, he has developed and taught a number of adult education classes. Paul lives in Wayne, PA with his wife, Sharon, a piano-playing chemistry professor at Bryn Mawr College. In his spare time, Paul enjoys gardening with Sharon, woodworking, learning jazz improvisation on his trumpet, singing, and writing.

Desert Spirituality - Preview with Tessa Bielecki and Fr. Dave Denny

To preview their upcoming 4-part webinar for SDI on Desert Spirituality, we invite you to enjoy this quick session with Tessa Bielecki and Fr. David Denny. And, we hope you will consider joining us for a full four part series on Desert Spirituality beginning November 1st (all sessions recorded). https://www.sdicompanions.org/product/desert-wisdom-for-spiritual-directors-and-companions/
Attracted by beauty and responding to sorrow, Tessa Bielecki and Fr. David Denny offer insights about inner work and earth care, peacemaking and social justice, living and dying, and share the nourishing desert wisdom that blooms today. Learn more about their work at https://sandandsky.org/.
We extend a heartfelt invitation to all spiritual directors, companions, and wayfarers to join us in exploring the rich and profound tradition of desert spirituality and the wisdom of the Desert Mothers and Fathers. In this enlightening learning opportunity, we will delve into the depths of this ancient path, discovering invaluable insights and practices that can deeply enhance our spiritual guidance practices.

Elaine Fourie - Working with Trauma, Mysticism, and Walking with a Partner with Illness

In this episode I have a lovely conversation with Elaine Fourie, from Durban, South Africa. Elaine is an SDI Member, a regular Media Reviewer of spiritual and contemplative books for Presence Journal. She is a trained trauma-informed psychologist before retiring from that role. We talk about working with trauma as spiritual companions and seeing trauma as a spiritual wound. We also discuss mystical encounter as Elaine experiences it, and hear a bit about her journey caring for her husband as he battles cancer. My deep thanks to Elaine for reaching out and being open and vulnerable in this interview.
If you're not an SDI Member, please consider joining our contemplative community! The SDI global learning community is a group of compassionate listeners who are committed to peace and justice. All spiritual wayfarers and those curious about the spiritual journey are welcome to become a member of SDI. 
Become a new member or renew your membership on SDI’s secure online store.

Henri Nouwen and Spiritual Companionship - A Reflection

Hi Friends. Matt Whitney here. I thought for the podcast I would do a reading of a reflection I wrote for our SDI Listen publication, which comes out quarterly. It's about something Henri Nouwen wrote in his book The Inner Voice of Love. I hope you enjoy the reading, and the written reflection is below.
SDI has thousands of spiritual directors, companions, guides, and teachers who are available to work with you, listen to you, and accompany you on your spiritual journey. Find one to work with today at sdicompanions.org.
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I recently took a short backpacking trip in the North Cascades of Washington State. I like to have an author accompany me while sipping my instant coffee in the morning or curling up in my sleeping bag at night. This trip, I brought with me Henri Nouwen’s The Inner Voice of Love, described on the back cover as his “secret journal” – written during a period of intense doubt, low self-esteem, anguish, and despair. Nouwen writes with great clarity and purpose, and I was moved reading his intimate sharing.
In one entry, he writes of our need to share our struggles, pain, and anguish with others, so that need may be affirmed and acknowledged. Indeed, Nouwen continues, our suffering can be of service to others, when shared judiciously, and with caution.
Nouwen says, “You will always need people who do not need you but who can receive you and give you back to yourself.” I was struck – what a beautiful description of spiritual companionship, encapsulating the essence, calling, and profound gifts of spiritual companionship!
I’m in my sixth year working for SDI. During this time, I’ve had countless conversations with folks about our work as spiritual directors and companions. Sometimes these discussions are easy, but more often context is necessary for those unfamiliar with our modalities. So, I describe our practices of deep listening, contemplation, and compassionate service, in service to helping others on their own unique spiritual journeys. These approaches help us all to recall and behold our deep, and innate, connection with God, The Divine, The Universe, or however we might each name The Ground of All Being.
Let’s contemplate this together – how are each of us received by someone “who does not need us,” and  who “gives us back to ourselves?”
What does it mean that someone needs nothing from us? Let’s start with the fact that we have many relationships in life, with varying degrees of responsibilities and obligations. As a partner and a parent, I have a responsibility to be loving and caring to my spouse, and my son. If we are friends, it’s important that we find fun things to do together, as well as help each other out in our struggles, or even with more mundane tasks such as moving or working on a house project. Professional colleagues pool their efforts in common causes and purposes. And so on.  All of these relationships can blossom as we get to know one another, and become more intimate over time. Perhaps eventually to the point of finding safety and comfort in sharing our spirituality with each other. After all, mutuality and reciprocity are the most precious gifts of our relationships. We give as much as we get.
 
 
One question I often hear in response to my own descriptions of a spiritual companion is: “why can’t that person just be an intimate partner, or a good friend?” To which I respond, “On occasion, they can be!” But what I have found, and I imagine you may have as well, is that our sufferings and longings are too intimate, too delicate, and too easily misunderstood by even our partners and closest friends. Within us may be truths so hidden that we don’t know how to properly speak of them. This can become problematic if we are tempted to overshare, as it may confuse or even become a burden to those whom we live and work with. As it turns out, our colleagues, friends, and partners actually need quite a bit from us – as does every good relationship. This includes the inevitable need to be selective, and even guarded, in sharing our most intimate spiritual selves.
Conversely, though a partner or friend might mean well, they are likely not attuned to the deep listening that would be most helpful to us. They may want to correct us, solve our problems, and make us feel better. The intentions are good, but these responses can be awkward, even harmful, to understanding our unique journeys.
You will always need people who do not need you but who can receive you and give you back to yourself.
- Henri Nouwen
Illustrated by Matt Whitney
This is what Nouwen means by “need.” Our partners need us to be loving, contributing partners. Our colleagues need us to be productive and helpful. Our friends need us to be…friends. They also need us to be complete and caring people in their lives.
On the other hand, a spiritual companion doesn’t need us at all in these ways. They don’t require our service or assistance. When I meet with mine, I don’t need to dress nicely, or pretend that I’m in a good mood. I arrive just as I am, with all my “baggage.” This is a great gift and a huge relief!
Nouwen adds that a spiritual companion “gives us back to ourselves.” As we all notice the tangles of our busy lives, and the anxieties and fears we carry, we eventually realize there are things deep within us that yearn and long in ways we may not be able to properly name. A spiritual companion can give us uninhibited safe space to untangle and declutter the surface of our lives, such that the depths within us can be excavated. Much like clearing weeds from a garden, these depths are given air to breathe and light to reveal.
 
A spiritual companion can give us uninhibited safe space to untangle and declutter the surface of our lives, such that the depths within us can be excavated. Much like clearing weeds from a garden, these depths are given air to breathe and light to reveal.
 
Many of the world’s spiritual traditions speak of the True Self. This True Self is our Spiritual Essence, the Child of God, Transcendent Awareness, the Eternal Self, The Ground of Our Being. This depth is you – the real You that spiritual companionship gives back to us!
There is much work we must all do to discover our True Nature: learning to integrate our pain, understanding our suffering, and alchemizing these into the living wisdom that weaves itself through all of us eternally.
Though my descriptions of spiritual companionship change depending on the conversation, I always say: “Everyone should work with a spiritual companion.” This includes you! If spiritual companionship is not part of your routine of care, I encourage you to check out our Find a Spiritual Companion Directory. Spend some time researching potential Spiritual Directors, Companions, and Guides to work with, and connect with a few. They are the kindest folks I know and typically offer free introductory sessions if you ask.  
And may you find a person who needs nothing from you, but can receive you, and give you back to yourself.
 
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Support for SDI Encounters comes from THE CENTER FOR SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT, WHICH INVITES YOU TO AN ONLINE BIOSPIRITUAL FOCUSING BOOK STUDY. THE GROUP WILL MEET 7 WEDNESDAY EVENINGS, 6:30-8 PM PACIFIC DAYLIGHT TIME, STARTING SEPTEMBER 13. GO TO WWW.THECSD.ORG FOR DETAILS AND TO REGISTER. THE CSD LOOKS FORWARD TO MEETING YOU ON ZOOM!

Using the Enneagram to Name, Tame, and Transform Your Inner Critic with Chelsea Forbrook

Chelsea Forbrook is the President of Enneagram Minnesota and is a Spiritual Director and Enneagram Educator based in Minneapolis, MN. She teaches a 10 month experiential Enneagram Course and hosts a podcast called “The Enneagram of Essence.” Chelsea is author of the book, “Blessing My Demons: How to Name, Tame & Transform Your Inner Critic,” which will be released this October. She was part of the SDI New Contemplatives cohort for the year 2018 and continues to be an active member in our community of spiritual directors and companions. She will be hosting a 5-part webinar series at the end of October called “Using the Enneagram to Name, Tame and Transform Your Inner Critic: Creative Practices, Tools and Rituals for Spiritual Directors“. You can learn more about Chelsea on  her website www.chelseaforbrook.com.
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SDI Membership is about being a part of a global contemplative movement that contributes to peace, justice, and living in right relationship with all living beings. The SDI learning community is a group of compassionate listeners who are committed to serving others on their spiritual journeys. Everyone is welcome to become a member of SDI, which also supports our work to advocate for the healing contemplative modalities of spiritual direction and companionship. Become a new member or renew your membership on SDI’s secure online store, at sdicompanions.org.