SDI Encounters

Elaine Fourie - Working with Trauma, Mysticism, and Walking with a Partner with Illness

In this episode I have a lovely conversation with Elaine Fourie, from Durban, South Africa. Elaine is an SDI Member, a regular Media Reviewer of spiritual and contemplative books for Presence Journal. She is a trained trauma-informed psychologist before retiring from that role. We talk about working with trauma as spiritual companions and seeing trauma as a spiritual wound. We also discuss mystical encounter as Elaine experiences it, and hear a bit about her journey caring for her husband as he battles cancer. My deep thanks to Elaine for reaching out and being open and vulnerable in this interview.
If you're not an SDI Member, please consider joining our contemplative community! The SDI global learning community is a group of compassionate listeners who are committed to peace and justice. All spiritual wayfarers and those curious about the spiritual journey are welcome to become a member of SDI. 
Become a new member or renew your membership on SDI’s secure online store.

Henri Nouwen and Spiritual Companionship - A Reflection

Hi Friends. Matt Whitney here. I thought for the podcast I would do a reading of a reflection I wrote for our SDI Listen publication, which comes out quarterly. It's about something Henri Nouwen wrote in his book The Inner Voice of Love. I hope you enjoy the reading, and the written reflection is below.
SDI has thousands of spiritual directors, companions, guides, and teachers who are available to work with you, listen to you, and accompany you on your spiritual journey. Find one to work with today at sdicompanions.org.
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I recently took a short backpacking trip in the North Cascades of Washington State. I like to have an author accompany me while sipping my instant coffee in the morning or curling up in my sleeping bag at night. This trip, I brought with me Henri Nouwen’s The Inner Voice of Love, described on the back cover as his “secret journal” – written during a period of intense doubt, low self-esteem, anguish, and despair. Nouwen writes with great clarity and purpose, and I was moved reading his intimate sharing.
In one entry, he writes of our need to share our struggles, pain, and anguish with others, so that need may be affirmed and acknowledged. Indeed, Nouwen continues, our suffering can be of service to others, when shared judiciously, and with caution.
Nouwen says, “You will always need people who do not need you but who can receive you and give you back to yourself.” I was struck – what a beautiful description of spiritual companionship, encapsulating the essence, calling, and profound gifts of spiritual companionship!
I’m in my sixth year working for SDI. During this time, I’ve had countless conversations with folks about our work as spiritual directors and companions. Sometimes these discussions are easy, but more often context is necessary for those unfamiliar with our modalities. So, I describe our practices of deep listening, contemplation, and compassionate service, in service to helping others on their own unique spiritual journeys. These approaches help us all to recall and behold our deep, and innate, connection with God, The Divine, The Universe, or however we might each name The Ground of All Being.
Let’s contemplate this together – how are each of us received by someone “who does not need us,” and  who “gives us back to ourselves?”
What does it mean that someone needs nothing from us? Let’s start with the fact that we have many relationships in life, with varying degrees of responsibilities and obligations. As a partner and a parent, I have a responsibility to be loving and caring to my spouse, and my son. If we are friends, it’s important that we find fun things to do together, as well as help each other out in our struggles, or even with more mundane tasks such as moving or working on a house project. Professional colleagues pool their efforts in common causes and purposes. And so on.  All of these relationships can blossom as we get to know one another, and become more intimate over time. Perhaps eventually to the point of finding safety and comfort in sharing our spirituality with each other. After all, mutuality and reciprocity are the most precious gifts of our relationships. We give as much as we get.
 
 
One question I often hear in response to my own descriptions of a spiritual companion is: “why can’t that person just be an intimate partner, or a good friend?” To which I respond, “On occasion, they can be!” But what I have found, and I imagine you may have as well, is that our sufferings and longings are too intimate, too delicate, and too easily misunderstood by even our partners and closest friends. Within us may be truths so hidden that we don’t know how to properly speak of them. This can become problematic if we are tempted to overshare, as it may confuse or even become a burden to those whom we live and work with. As it turns out, our colleagues, friends, and partners actually need quite a bit from us – as does every good relationship. This includes the inevitable need to be selective, and even guarded, in sharing our most intimate spiritual selves.
Conversely, though a partner or friend might mean well, they are likely not attuned to the deep listening that would be most helpful to us. They may want to correct us, solve our problems, and make us feel better. The intentions are good, but these responses can be awkward, even harmful, to understanding our unique journeys.
You will always need people who do not need you but who can receive you and give you back to yourself.
- Henri Nouwen
Illustrated by Matt Whitney
This is what Nouwen means by “need.” Our partners need us to be loving, contributing partners. Our colleagues need us to be productive and helpful. Our friends need us to be…friends. They also need us to be complete and caring people in their lives.
On the other hand, a spiritual companion doesn’t need us at all in these ways. They don’t require our service or assistance. When I meet with mine, I don’t need to dress nicely, or pretend that I’m in a good mood. I arrive just as I am, with all my “baggage.” This is a great gift and a huge relief!
Nouwen adds that a spiritual companion “gives us back to ourselves.” As we all notice the tangles of our busy lives, and the anxieties and fears we carry, we eventually realize there are things deep within us that yearn and long in ways we may not be able to properly name. A spiritual companion can give us uninhibited safe space to untangle and declutter the surface of our lives, such that the depths within us can be excavated. Much like clearing weeds from a garden, these depths are given air to breathe and light to reveal.
 
A spiritual companion can give us uninhibited safe space to untangle and declutter the surface of our lives, such that the depths within us can be excavated. Much like clearing weeds from a garden, these depths are given air to breathe and light to reveal.
 
Many of the world’s spiritual traditions speak of the True Self. This True Self is our Spiritual Essence, the Child of God, Transcendent Awareness, the Eternal Self, The Ground of Our Being. This depth is you – the real You that spiritual companionship gives back to us!
There is much work we must all do to discover our True Nature: learning to integrate our pain, understanding our suffering, and alchemizing these into the living wisdom that weaves itself through all of us eternally.
Though my descriptions of spiritual companionship change depending on the conversation, I always say: “Everyone should work with a spiritual companion.” This includes you! If spiritual companionship is not part of your routine of care, I encourage you to check out our Find a Spiritual Companion Directory. Spend some time researching potential Spiritual Directors, Companions, and Guides to work with, and connect with a few. They are the kindest folks I know and typically offer free introductory sessions if you ask.  
And may you find a person who needs nothing from you, but can receive you, and give you back to yourself.
 
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Support for SDI Encounters comes from THE CENTER FOR SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT, WHICH INVITES YOU TO AN ONLINE BIOSPIRITUAL FOCUSING BOOK STUDY. THE GROUP WILL MEET 7 WEDNESDAY EVENINGS, 6:30-8 PM PACIFIC DAYLIGHT TIME, STARTING SEPTEMBER 13. GO TO WWW.THECSD.ORG FOR DETAILS AND TO REGISTER. THE CSD LOOKS FORWARD TO MEETING YOU ON ZOOM!

Using the Enneagram to Name, Tame, and Transform Your Inner Critic with Chelsea Forbrook

Chelsea Forbrook is the President of Enneagram Minnesota and is a Spiritual Director and Enneagram Educator based in Minneapolis, MN. She teaches a 10 month experiential Enneagram Course and hosts a podcast called “The Enneagram of Essence.” Chelsea is author of the book, “Blessing My Demons: How to Name, Tame & Transform Your Inner Critic,” which will be released this October. She was part of the SDI New Contemplatives cohort for the year 2018 and continues to be an active member in our community of spiritual directors and companions. She will be hosting a 5-part webinar series at the end of October called “Using the Enneagram to Name, Tame and Transform Your Inner Critic: Creative Practices, Tools and Rituals for Spiritual Directors“. You can learn more about Chelsea on  her website www.chelseaforbrook.com.
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SDI Membership is about being a part of a global contemplative movement that contributes to peace, justice, and living in right relationship with all living beings. The SDI learning community is a group of compassionate listeners who are committed to serving others on their spiritual journeys. Everyone is welcome to become a member of SDI, which also supports our work to advocate for the healing contemplative modalities of spiritual direction and companionship. Become a new member or renew your membership on SDI’s secure online store, at sdicompanions.org.

Rev. SeiFu and Matt Whitney on Belonging - Part 2

In this week's episode, SDI's Rev. SeiFu and Matt Whitney continue their conversation on what it means to belong to the SDI community, particularly when things get challenging. In our ongoing SDI community dialogue around Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, Justice, and Belonging, we’d like to focus more intensively on the Belonging part. SDI has envisioned our community as a Public Square of Spiritual Companionship, in which we gather as spiritual directors and companions from an array of faith traditions and spiritual orientations. Though sometimes this process can be messy and uncomfortable, SDI will always be a place for anyone who shares our passion and commitment to our common calling. The conversation continues from last week's Part 1. 
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SDI Membership is about being a part of a global contemplative movement that contributes to peace, justice, and living in right relationship with all living beings. The SDI learning community is a group of compassionate listeners who are committed to serving others on their spiritual journeys. Everyone is welcome to become a member of SDI, which also supports our work to advocate for the healing contemplative modalities of spiritual direction and companionship. Become a new member or renew your membership on SDI’s secure online store, at sdicompanions.org.

Rev. SeiFu and Matt Whitney on Belonging - Part 1

In this week's episode, SDI's Rev. SeiFu and Matt Whitney discuss what it means to belong to the SDI community, particularly when things get challenging. In our ongoing SDI community dialogue around Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, Justice, and Belonging, we’d like to focus more intensively on the Belonging part. SDI has envisioned our community as a Public Square of Spiritual Companionship, in which we gather as spiritual directors and companions from an array of faith traditions and spiritual orientations. Though sometimes this process can be messy and uncomfortable, SDI will always be a place for anyone who shares our passion and commitment to our common calling. The conversation continues next week in Part 2.
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SDI Membership is about being a part of a global contemplative movement that contributes to peace, justice, and living in right relationship with all living beings. The SDI learning community is a group of compassionate listeners who are committed to serving others on their spiritual journeys. Everyone is welcome to become a member of SDI, which also supports our work to advocate for the healing contemplative modalities of spiritual direction and companionship. Become a new member or renew your membership on SDI’s secure online store, at sdicompanions.org.

Awakening Joy - Practices to Cultivate Spiritual Presence - Harry Pickens

“I already feel more awake`-thank you.”
“I cannot wait for the class!!!”
“brilliant and blissful,” “Tingly,” “Being present to my own joy,” “Calm and energized,” “Peacefulness,” “Wonder and awe,” “Reconnecting with my true self.”
“This was life-changing.”
“I feel like I’ve transformed as a spiritual director” (OK, that one is from me, but it’s true).
These are a few of the comments received just from the one-hour preview session we had with Harry Pickens! The recording is posted below and is available for you to watch whenever you like. SDI Members can also find it in the Free Sessions Course within their ‘My Courses and Webinars‘ section, or can access directly by clicking here: “Awakening Joy”
Huge thanks to Harry Pickens for facilitating this wonderful session!
If you want to experience more healing, more integration, more joy, and cultivate a fuller spiritual presence for yourself and those you companion, then we encourage you to sign up for our five-session webinar with Harry beginning on July 5th. All sessions are recorded for you to watch whenever you like. Click here to learn more and register.
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Harry Pickens is an award-winning musician, educator, and life transformation coach. He  holds practitioner and trainer certifications in EFT and Spiritual Technology and a Certificate in Applied Positive Psychology from the Flourishing Center. He is the developer of the From StageFright To Standing Ovation™, From Burnout To Bliss™ and Rewire Your Brain For Inner Peace™ Workshops, and creator of Emotional Empowerment For Personal Mastery™, a step-by-step protocol that is designed to help his clients quickly and easily release the pain of the past, fully embrace the miracle of the present moment, and consciously create their best possible future. Harry was a recent presenter in the SDI Trauma and Wellness Course for Spiritual Directors and Companions.

Dr Jeanette Banashak and Rev Simon Ruth De Voil - Guides for Our 2024 Forest Bathing Journey

Hear directly from our Guides for the newest iteration of our Forest Bathing Journey, coming in March 2024.
We are pleased to welcome all to join us as SDI returns to the woods of the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina. For spiritual directors, companions, wayfarers and explorers, we invite you to spend a week immersing in nature, breathing the clean forest air, finding silence and stillness, and experience deep listening on new levels.
If you missed our first Retreat, here is your opportunity to join us for this truly restful and transformative experience. If you previously attended, we are excited to again bring this offering to you. All are welcome! March 3 - 9, 2024.
Special pricing of 20 percent off in place through July 5, 2023! Call or e-mail our Office at 425-455-1565 or office@sdiworld.org to start a payment plan, or register now at https://www.sdicompanions.org/product/2024-the-forest-as-companion-nature-immersion-and-deep-listening/

Reconsidering Spiritual Companionship - Full Conversation with Rev. SeiFu Singh-Molares

In this recent April 2023, SDI Executive Director Rev. SeiFu Singh-Molares and SDI Creative Director Matt Whitney had a wide-ranging conversation about spiritual direction and companionship, and in particular, reconsidering some of the elements we might consider to be “universal.” Are there common elements to the work of spiritual companionship that we can identify? For example, we often cite “deep listening” as a common practice. But what do we mean when we say that? We also consider, and reconsider, the generation of “spiritual heat,” how spiritual companionship has elements of contemplative practice, opening to new depths of awareness, and how to befriend the overwhelm that can come when we gain insight into the depths of our existence. We have this conversation posted as a five-part video series on our YouTube channel, but here you can listen to the conversation in its entirety. We hope you enjoy it and reconsider for yourself some of the building blocks of your own practice as a spiritual companion.
SDI Membership is about being a part of a global contemplative movement that contributes to peace, justice, and living in right relationship with all living beings. The SDI learning community is a group of compassionate listeners who are committed to serving others on their spiritual journeys. Everyone is welcome to become a member of SDI, which also supports our work to advocate for the healing contemplative modalities of spiritual direction and companionship. Become a new member or renew your membership on SDI’s secure online store, at sdicompanions.org.

A Conversation with Fr. Adam Bucko - Let Your Heartbreak Be Your Guide

Recently we at SDI hosted a free preview webinar session with Fr. Adam Bucko, who will be facilitating an upcoming webinar series called Let Your Heartbreak Be Your Guide – Spiritual Direction and Companionship for a World That Has Lots Its Way. This episode we share the audio of that free preview webinar conversation. Join our community of spiritual companions and wayfarers for this 3-part webinar exploring Heartbreak for Spiritual Directors and how to turn it to our advantage. Through readings, deep conversations, dialogue and discernment with one of SDI’s most compelling teachers, Fr. Adam Bucko, your heart will open and be renewed. We will be reading portions of Fr. Adam’s newest book, Let Your Heartbreak Be Your Guide – designed for every person trying to live at the intersection of contemplation and justice, but will be specially resonant for spiritual directors and companions.

Carmen Acevedo Butcher - Mystical Wisdom and Practice from The Cloud of Unknowing and Brother Lawrence

Recently, SDI hosted a free webinar with Carmen Acevedo Butcher, an internationally acclaimed speaker, author, educator, and poet. Carmen specializes in Early Modern French, German, Latin, Middle English, and Old English mystic writers. You can watch the webinar on Vimeo.
SDI is starting a four-part series on two mystics: Brother Lawrence and The Cloud of Unknowing. The series will be hosted by Carmen Acevedo Butcher and begins on April 5th, 2023. You can join anytime and watch the recorded sessions at your convenience. Learn more and register on our website.
Join us for a deep dive into the writings and teachings of these great mystics. Carmen Acevedo Butcher will facilitate the series and guide us in exploring the meaning beyond the words. We will engage in practices like singing and contemplating to experience the deep love underlying their writings.
These writers lived through plagues, wars, and trials similar to what we face today. They are relatable spiritual companions who have walked these paths before us. How did they grapple with the crises of their times? Join us to nourish our souls with hope.
Carmen Acevedo Butcher is an internationally acclaimed speaker, author, educator, and poet. She is an award-winning translator of works in Early Modern French, German, Latin, Middle English, and Old English by writers including Brother Lawrence.